Donnie's Cancer Blog

Memorial
October 8, 1956 - March 29, 2011

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by Olga
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May your family feel your love and have peace!
by Kathyo
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by Anita
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My heart holds your gift of compassion. Rest now.
by April
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May we all have your courage. You are missed.
by Wendy
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You are at peace now and missed.
by Betty
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Rest in peace my Brother ! Stan
by Stanbasford
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Our brother is in the arms of theLord
by Sherri (Karla
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R.I.P.
by Jeanne
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My prayers are with the family.
by Spongebob46
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I pray for your family, as you always prayed 4 us!
by Melinda
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In loving memory. RIP my friend.
by Jake
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Rest in peace Don.You will always be in our heart!
by Jenna
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In Loving Memory ... RIP
by Joyce In NC
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by Jessica
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R I P Donnie- Gonna miss you!
by Yo
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R I P buddy. I'll remember you always, Frank
by Frank Baldizan
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Love you and miss you forever, Pops&Patt
by Popsnpatt
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Rest in peace, gentle soul.
by Kim
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you will be in my heart for ever. love you man.
by david d morin sr.
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Gonna miss ya Bigbro...
by Davev
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Heaven has claimed another angel...
by Jill
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Rest in peace...
by Jennifer
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RIP I love you, me : )
by Nikki
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Donnie love ya and miss you rest my cousins luv ya
by Jay
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Thanks for all your help!
by Monique
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May the memories of you last forever!
by Larissa
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rest in peace dear friend
by Mike
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by JIm
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Rest peacefully.
by Vicky
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We have another star in the sky to watch over us!
by Mersea
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Rest In Peace
by Sue
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At Ease, Sailor! Rest in peace.
by Lisa
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Rest in Peace dear Donnie.Love ya
by
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We never met, pray your soul is at rest. God Bless
by Randy
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Rest in Peace
by Ali
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RIP Donnie. Love Ya!!
by Lorrainewright
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Be at peace fine man.
by Texas Jeff
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May God bless you & keep you in his care.
by LC
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There are no goodbyes just good memories Rest my
by Valerie
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Take a break now. It's been a rough road.
by Greg
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Goodbye to a wonderful, sweet friend
by Helen Marshall
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RIP my brother
by Mac
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forever in my heart, now fly with the Angels
by Mavenice
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Rest in Peace, Donnie.
by Ruth
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Your with the lord now.
by Daniel187
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Rest, my friend.
by Dan J
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May the Good Lord give you all strength .
by Nancy Glass
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Find a bench ti sit on my friend we will see you a
by Edward
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Rest peacefully.
by -M-
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by Kat
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Keep the candles burning, for all of us.
by Louise
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Generous Soul
by
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by Ann
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with love
by Tami
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I will miss you my friend.
by Danell
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Peace, Donnie.
by Kathy
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R.I.P. Donnie ..
by Fred
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Please watch over us, we love you very much!!!
by Your Daughter
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I Love You Dad
by Donnie
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I will never forget you, gentle friend. =p
by Debbie
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God Bless you...RIP
by Nancy
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Papa-What's crackalackin-I will learn this for you
by Your Grandson Dean aka Boo-Boo
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Rest peacefully my friend.
by Patti
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In our hearts and on our minds. We will miss you.
by Carolyn
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Rest in Peace
by Linda
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God took another angel home today.
by Kristie
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May Peace be With You
by Sharron
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R.I.P. Donnie You will live in my heart forever
by Robin
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From Your Tips: Friends will listen here. Rest In
by Keith
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RIP Donnie!
by Luis M.
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RIP Donnie, you were a friend to everyone
by Magdav
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Donnie, RIP. I will see you again someday!
by Diane
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You are deeply missed. Rest in Peace
by Smurf
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You are already missed.
by Rachel
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Rest in Peace my friend.
by Eli
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In Peace
by Ed
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You are always one of the world's good guys.
by Andrea
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RIP we will all be together some day.
by Laurie
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Fight on my Warrior Friend - Love You
by Donna
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will think of you often, you are missed by many.
by Finney
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In loving memory
by Ron
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You will live in my heart always.
by Danean
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Your struggle is over..fly to the angels
by Jennifer
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In loving memory.
by Doris
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Rest in peace. Love you!
by Admin

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6 1/2 Years

I was going to write some line to write into a long one but I won't.

I have turned 30. I miss my father every day but I don't think about him everyday anymore. My mother has become very indepedent which is amazing to me. I am dealing with my own issues. Relationships and alcohol related issues. I'm a blunt person. Dealt with drugs but nothing anyone would call hard. My father dealt with probably with probably the worst, "speed" for awhile (before I was born). However my abuse of alcohol (binge drinking) has been a big issue this past year). That's my own issue.

I just wanted to update people because just because someone passes shouldn't let you know how the people closest to them were. I say this because, I knew my dad in and out. I hadn't logged in here in awhile and I knew the password. I just know my father. My mother tells me every day I look like him. It's just scary. All the potential to be someone like him and hoping to live up to that.

 

I'll give a really quick jist. My mother is doing far better, and will doing even far better doing soon. My half sister is doing well...but she's bipolar. I love my brother in law but he's far to busy for me. But my niece and nephew I love dearly.

As for me I've thought and sat about suicide. I really feel like a let down to my dad and to my mother and to my fiancee. My life isn't anywhere near as hard as most everyone has it. You know that feeling that you can achieve so much more but you're waiting for a key to unlock it? I have to stop waiting...

I'm very afraid of getting cancer. My mother's father died of cancer in 2012. And my father's father was battling prostate but he beat it, now he's going to be fighting lung cancer.

 

I'm afraid.


This is a blog for a cure. Not for me to place my feelings.

I miss my father a lot. That's all I can say. I look at every older gentleman who guides me thinking maybe he can fill the spot. - I missed out on so much from him. I know he wanted to teach me so badly.

In the reverse my mother is well, emotionally for the most part. I am the opposite now.

Fight the battle, never give up. I love all you.

 

-Travis

Admin, Debbie sent you a hug.
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Hi Travis. I'm glad you came here and please know that you are always welcome. Your dad was a friend to many here, including me, and will not be forgotten. I'm sorry you are hurting and that you life may not be exactly what you want or need it to be right now. But as you say, "fight the battle, never give up." Those are words to live by, Travis. Whatever is causing the pain in your life can be overcome.

I will tell you that, at the age of 25, my dad suddenly passed away. I never got a chance to say goodbye to him. Even at almost 40 years later, I still hurt. However, I know that he would want me to live my life to the fullest, which I believe I have and continue to do. I truly believe your dad would want you to do the same and he would be very proud of you for doing that.

I don't know if you believe in prayer, but I do, so you will be in mine. I know you are a fine young man with a lot of potential. Know that you are loved by us here. Take good care.

Martha
Travis, thanks so much for the update. Sometimes I just don't know what to say to people. You would think after all these years of supporting cancer folks I would be better at it. But just know we are all struggling and you are not alone. Some people just hide it better. Love you!!
Debbie likes this comment
Hi Travis, I didn't know your father because I joined after his passing. I am glad you are here. It sounds to me like you are still grieving, and by the way, that never goes away but gets easier. Have you ever gotten professional help for grief. This may be causing your tendency to medicate with alcohol and to damage your own relationships. I agree with Marcha above, I am sure your dad would want better for you. Please get some help. A good grief therapist can help you see the world in a new and hopeful light. Just as we follow treatment plans to rid ourselves of cancer, you can make a plan to pull yourself out of a funk and achieve goals. Your goals may be small at first but it's like going up the stairs. Take one step at a time but don't stop. Good luck and keep us informed. We care...

Travis, I'm 59 and there are times I still wonder what I want to be when I grow up, lol. I think it's normal to feel like you still haven't accomplished all that you thought you would because we continue to learn until the day we cross over. Talk to your Father and if you believe with all your heart that he can hear you and is right beside you, then it will be so. You are still so young.......but Sweets, trust, it gets better as you get older. You gain more knowledge and confidence, making you feel more in control of your own life, thus making you happy and more content. God bless.
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Just over three years...

I miss my father more than anything...


I've had a falling out with my mother and no longer speak to her. Not that I don't love her. I love her more than anything as well. She's my mom. But our disagreements are what they are. Nonetheless..

 

I was able to spend the third year of my dads passing with my fiancee and my Aunt who I hadn't seen nearly 20 years.

 

I don't think I would of met my fiancee had my father still been here.. but I wish I would of seen the man I would of become if he was still around... He was going to guide me, be there when I had questions, show me what to do...

I'm not blaming him for not being here, I just wish he was. I know a lot of people like to say my dad is the best, or whatever. Looking back now, turning 27 in two weeks. I see my dad was like everyone else, they are just doing their best of their ability, and they are learning on the go to be a father.

 

But my dad.. he knew.. he knew what to say, when to say... Jesus christ... I wish I could talk to him, see him, just touch him. He tried so hard to get me interested in things that were important but I was still so naive to life. I brushed it off, assuming when I was ready, he'd be there when I was ready....I regret that. But thats life.

 

I apologize if I offend anyone... I'm atheist... slightly spiritual as my father told me he would come back and fuck with the lights of the house... and it's weird how after he passed that lights started shutting off and coming on at random..

 

And I saw a psychic with my Aunt... and she mentioned many things that were spot on...so while I don't believe in religion.. I hope that we do have a spirit world of some kind... I would do anything to see him and hug him..

 

I miss my father, he was a great man, father, and overall an amazing guy. I so desperately wish he was here... I'm doing much better. I try to think about my dad everyday but I don't. I don't break down and hate everything anymore. I've accepted that it's happened but some days, like today.. I can't help but wish I could do anything to bring him back.

 

Fuck cancer, all the way. That's my next tattoo in some shape or form. I hate it, and I'm scared of it. Both my grandfathers and dad have had cancer...

 

I miss you Dad. I wish I could have a beer with you, spend time with you, hug you. I just hope I'm making you proud. You mean everything to me. I wish badly you were here. I'd do anything for you to slap my head and smile at me one more time. I try to dream of you often as possible..

 

I love you Dad. I miss you.

Diane likes this post.
Texas Jeff sent you a hug.
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Hi Travis--

Your post brought tears to my eyes. I know you miss your dad--I miss mine too every day, and he's been gone 35 years. But your dad is with you, in your heart, and I know he would be proud of you. Take care.

Martha
Donnie likes this comment
Thanks for posting I think of your dad often. I understand about missing your dad. I miss mine everyday. I don't think it gets easier but I do know we learn to cope with it better. Congrats on your engagement and I hope and wish the best for you. I do hope you and your mom do get close again as life is way to short and as you said she is your mom. Good luck in the future for you sweetie Hugs V
Donnie likes this comment
Hello Travis...I, like you, wonder how I would have been different if my father had lived. 57 years and I miss him every day. Yesterday was his birthday.

Just be strong and live a good life for your dad!!!
Hi, Travis. I was just thinking of your dad Saturday morning. He was an exceptional man. I miss him a lot.

I hope you and your mom will find a way back to each other. You two share a love for Donnie, and probably are the two who miss him the most.

Congratulations on your engagement! That's awesome!

Big hugs,

Danean
Hi Travis--What a great post...I am sure your Dad is with you every step of the way. I still remember when I first heard of your Dad's passing---I was in my car coming back from my cancer group--a song was playing on the radio and every time I hear that song now--I think of your Dad. I never met him in person but he was a great support. Take care of yourself. XO
Your dad was one of my first blog friends here...he offered great advice and wisdom. You and your family were blessed to have him. I'm sure he'd be proud of the man you have become.
I agree,

Fuck Cancer!!! Wouldn't wish it on a hypothetical worst enemy.
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rollerFetching more entries....
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October 8, 1956 - March 29, 2011

Vital Info

Posts

May 22, 2010

Anza, California

October 8, 1956

March 29, 2011

Cancer Info

Lung Cancer

Non Small Cell Carcinoma

May 22, 2010

Stage 4

5.1 - 6.0 cm

Yes

Its sneakiness, how fast it strikes without you knowing about it.

That many people like me have it, including small children.

Prayers, just knowing your reading or listening helps.

From lungs to lymphnodes

Please donate to American Cancer Society

Cancer Treatment Centers of America, Zion, Ill.

For joint pain, hot bath, spa, benedryl, icy hot or ben gay. Try to move around, don't stay in bed.

Remember, you have lots of friends who will listen here.

Stats

Posts: 164
Photos: 37
Events: 13
Supporters: 124
Friends: 168
Comments:
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